Welcome to Captain U-Turn Northern Threads - A merch line that our government can’t pin the sacred £22 billion deficit on!
We let Printful and Shopify run the show because if the Prime Mincer, Rachel Grieves, Jess Fillets, and David Lamey were in charge,
your order would be hugely taxed, banned for “wrongthink,” and lost in a cover-up bigger than the ones Brits with VPNs talk about on X.
Fillets would fail it worse than she did the kids, Lamey would bankrupt three more all-you-can-eats before signing for the parcel -
then he'd probably scran it, and Stammer would wheel out the deficit excuse before calling the delivery driver a far right thug!
We make the satire; they make the excuses - whilst blatantly replacing us.